十大爆笑散装英语小故事，笑到停不下来！

A ++art Pig

One day, a man was driving in the country and saw a pig walking on the road. As he got closer, he noticed that the pig had a wooden leg. He stopped his car and asked the farmer, "Why does that pig have a wooden leg?" The farmer replied, "Well, that pig is really special. One night, our house caught fire and that pig woke us up. We all got out safely. So, we decided to take good care of it." The man then asked, "But why does it have a wooden leg?" The farmer rolled his eyes and said, "Because a pig that ++art, you don't eat it all at once!" 😂

A True Genius

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "My father grows beans." The teacher said, "Good, can you use it in a better sentence?" Johnny thought for a while and said, "My mother cooks beans." The teacher sighed and asked if anyone else could do better. Finally, little Susie stood up and said, "We are all human beans." 🤣

The Doctor's Advice

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I'm addicted to Twitter." The doctor replies, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I can cure your addiction. The bad news is you'll have to give up Twitter cold turkey." The man looks confused and asks, "What's cold turkey?" The doctor says, "I don't know, but it's the only thing I know how to cook." 😜

A Clever Dog

A man walked into a bar with his dog and said, "I'll have a beer and my dog would like a whiskey sour." The bartender was shocked and said, "Sorry, I can't serve drinks to animals." The man said, "This dog is very special. He can play cards." The bartender said, "If he can play cards, I'll give him a drink." So, the man put the cards on the table and the dog played a great hand. The bartender was amazed and gave the dog his drink. After a while, the dog started to look really drunk. The man said, "I'd like another beer and could you call a taxi for my dog?" The bartender said, "That dog can't be drunk. He's just playing you for a sucker!" 🤣🤣

The Math Problem

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The father says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitali++. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if it makes sense." The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while capitali++ is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep shit." 😂😂😂

The Blonde and the Coke Machine

A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a coin and gets a Coke. She does this several times. A man in line behind her asks, "Why are you buying one Coke after another?" The blonde replies, "I'm winning! I keep pressing this button and it keeps giving me a Coke!" 😅

The Parrot's Language

A man buys a parrot. The parrot is fully grown and has a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth is rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. The man tries everything to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he can think of. Nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few minutes, he hears the bird squawking, kicking, and screaming. Then, suddenly, there is silence. Not a sound for over a minute. Fearing that he's actually hurt the bird, the man quickly opens the freezer door. The parrot calmly steps out onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions. I will endeavor to correct my ways from now on." The man is astonished at the bird's change of attitude. The parrot continues, "May I ask what the chicken did?" 🤣🤣🤣

The New Employee

A new employee starts working at a company. On his first day, he asks his boss, "What's the dress code around here?" The boss says, "++art casual." The next day, the new employee shows up wearing a suit of armor. 😆

The Lost Keys

A man loses his keys in the park. He's looking for them everywhere. A policeman comes by and asks what's going on. The man says, "I lost my keys." The policeman asks, "Where did you lose them?" The man replies, "Over there by the tree." The policeman says, "Then why are you looking here?" The man says, "Because the light is better here!" 😅

The Old Man and the Young Man

An old man is sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons when a young man sits down next to him. The young man has a big, expensive-looking dog. After a while, the dog starts to mess on the ground. The old man says, "You should pick up after your dog." The young man replies, "You should have gotten a dog like this when you were young." The old man says, "No, I meant you should pick up after it when you're old." 😂

这些散装英语小故事有没有让你捧腹大笑呢😃？它们用独特的幽默方式诠释了英语在生活中的趣味应用🧐。